Confessions of a Prison Nurse

No! None of that kinky stuff here, so move along perverts.... Anyway, for those of you who are still with me, I have to admit that prison nursing has become my absolute favorite nursing job so far.

Sure you have to deal with some lewd gestures and exhibitionist masturbaters.  Write them up, ignore them and keep on moving.  If they are foolish enough to stick their appendage out of the food service trap, kick the trap shut. ( I plead the fifth on that confession.)

I love my patients.  Yes, I said it.  I love my patients (even that one with the injured penis).  We are not supposed to say that we love the inmates, but if it were not true then why care for them?  If I stop loving them, it's time for me to move on.

I will admit that I sometimes get burned out.  It is hard to stay positive in such a negative environment.  It's hard to love those who are not always so lovable, but I've found out that when I do, I find it very fulfilling.   
Most of my patients are the nicest bunch of Murderers, Rapists, and Robbers I've ever met!  You really wouldn't know they were any different if you met them on the streets. Most of them are very respectful.

 This job has however made me look at every joe shmoe I meet on the streets a little differently.  I now wonder what everyone is capable of. 

I try not to look up what my patients have done because I don't want to be biased.  It's really none of my business.  I'm there to provide medical care and am there for their sake. They are not there for mine.

Sure there are some manipulative, drug seeking, needy attention whores... but really, how is that different from hospital nursing?

What is different about prison nursing is the sincere heart felt thank you's.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Thanks for treating me like I'm human."

Once, a whole block gave me a standing ovation for being "the nurse who does her job".  OK, so that was overkill, and very awkward.... but funny.

I promise you that if you have a sense of humor, your patients will keep you in stitches with their antics.  

Also, where else can a nurse truly speak her mind to her patients?  Really! You don't have to sugar coat a thing.  Only prison nurses get to tell their demanding, entitled drug seeking patients what they really think and it is wonderful!

Prison nursing isn't for the faint of heart.  It is for the witty and confident nurse who has enough experience under her belt to handle the autonomy that comes with the job.   It is for the nurse who not only knows the phrase "what you do for the least of these, you do for me"; it is for the nurse who has the courage to live it.